Terrence forgives Brad - SCENARIO
Brad and Terrence are best friends and very loyal to each other. They have been best friends since college. Its has been over 20 years of friendship. They both have wives and children. Brad has two boys and a beautiful wife. Terrence has two girls and a boy with a beautiful wife. They are always having gatherings with both families.
One afternoon Brad is having a party and asked Terrence and his family to come over. Terrence and his family went over to join Brad and his family. They all are having a great time. Brad is drinking a little to much. Brad's wife asked him to slow down but Brad isn't listen to her. Terrence sees what is happening and he walks over to Brad and says, "Bro, I think you need to slow down a little. Your wife just asked you to slow down." Brad replies back slurring his words, "I don't need to slow down. I'm just getting started." Terrence shakes his head and walks away. Terrence notices Brad's wife is upset. Terrence asked his wife to walk over and talk to Brad's wife to make sure she is okay. Terrence's wife agrees and starts to walk towards Brad's wife. As Terrence's wife is walking towards Brad's wife, Brad grabs Terrence's wife by the arm and pulls her close to him and kisses her on the lips. Terrence is furious. He run over to Brad and pulls his wife away from Brad. Brad's wife sees the whole thing and run in the home. Terrence tells his wife and his children to pack up because they are going to leave. Terrence is so angry, he did not say a word to Brad. Terrence and his family left.
The next day Brad calls Terrence but Terrence didn't answer. Terrence is still upset with Brad. Brad has been calling Terrence for two weeks and no answer or call backs. Terrence was sitting on the couch in the livingroom still upset. He would never think that Brad would do such a thing and kissing his wife is a problem. Terrence's wife sit down beside him and says, "Honey, I know you are upset with Brad and if I was you, I would be upset too. Honey, you have to forgive him to have peace with yourself. You are very bitter and to move on, you have to forgive." Terrence didn't want to hear what his wife is saying but he knew what she is saying was true. Terrence replies back, "You are right. I will forgive him but we are not going to another gathering." Terrence knows in his heart that things will never be the same with Brad. As soon as Terrence finished talking with his wife the telephone rings. Terrence picks up the telephone and it's Brad. Immediately Brad says, "Hey dude, I just want to apologize to you. My wife told me what had happened." Terrence is silent for a moment and replies back, "Alright cool, I just want you to know I forgive you but our friendship has changed. I still love you like a brother but you definitely step over your boundaries. I will not be going to any of gatherings nor my family. I will see you around." Brad yells, "ARE YOU SERIOUS? YOU ARE GOING TO LET THIS BREAK OUR FRIENDSHIP." Terrence replies back in a calm voice, "Yes, you kissed my wife in front of my children. You disrespected me, your wife, my wife, my children and your own children. I can't and I will not let my children see that kind of behavior, so you have a good day." Terrence hangs up the telephone.
Terrence feels he is making a right decision to keep his distance from Brad and just focus on his family.
Acknowledge your emotions about the harm done to you and how they affect your behavior, and work to release them. Choose to forgive the person who's offended you. Move away from your role as victim and release the control and power the offending person and situation have had in your life.
How to Let Go and Forgive
*Commit to letting go. You aren't going to do it in a second or maybe not even in a day
*Think about the pros and cons. What problems does this pain cause you?
*Realize you have a choice
*Understand your responsibility
*Focus on the present
*Allow peace to enter your life
Learn how to forgive so you can have a positive attitude. When you have bitterness or hatred in your heart you can't have a happy life. You can forgive and more on with your life. You can deal with people from a distance. Don't let anyone steal your joy. Forgive and move on. Life is too short.