WATCH THE SIGNS - SCENARIO
Larry and Linda are high school sweethearts. Larry has been controlling and manipulating Linda for a long time. Larry controls everything that Linda does. Linda can't go anywhere without him, she have to get an approval by Larry for the clothes she wear and she cannot have friends. I know you are wondering how this all started. Well, this is how everything started.
Linda was a cheerleader for East Coast High School and of course Larry was the high school football star. When Larry first saw Linda it was love at first sight. They both were in the same grade and had a couple of classes together. Larry had seen a lot of guys trying to date Linda but she kept turning them down. One afternoon at school Larry decided to approach Linda but he was kind of decisive if he should do it because she was turning every guy down. Larry finally got the courage to do it. Larry walked up to Linda and asked, "if she had a boyfriend" and Linda replied, "no." Larry smiled and said, "well, can I be your boyfriend." Linda started smiling and shook her head, "yes." Larry was so overjoyed that he picked Linda up and swirled her around. For then on they spent every moment together. The guys in school kept trying to date Linda but Larry wasn't having it. Larry fought every guy who approached Linda. Then one day at Linda's home in her bedroom after school Larry told Linda, "she is not allowed to have guys friends or girlfriends because he doesn't trust anyone." Linda was confused and ask, "why not." Larry replied back angrily and said, "because I said so and I am your boyfriend." Linda didn't like what Larry had said but she looked at Larry's eyes and all she saw were darkness. Linda became frightened and agreed. After they graduated from high school Larry and Linda got married and moved together immediately. Larry decided to relocate and move Linda far away from her family. Therefore, Larry had all control over Linda. He continued to manipulate and control Linda. Larry repeatedly told Linda that no one wants her, no one loves her, no one wants to see her and no one thinks about her. He monitored everything and anything that Linda had, have or did. Larry controlled Linda's life.
Manipulation and controlling is basically has the same meaning. Manipulation-control or influence (a person or situation) cleverly, unfairly, or unscrupulously.
Controlling- behavior is when one person expects, compels, or requires others to cater to their own needs — even at others' expense. The controlling person targets an individual and dominates them in an unhealthy, self-serving manner.
Signs of Manipulation
(1).They know your weaknesses and how to exploit them.
(2) They use your insecurities against you.
(3) They convince you to give up something important to you, to make you more dependent on them.
Signs of Controlling
(1) They criticize you all the time
(2) They don’t want you to see the people you love
(3) They make you think everything’s your fault
(4) They keep score
(5) They try to change you
(6)They’re unreasonably jealous
(7) They don’t take ‘no’ for an answer
(9)They intimidate you
(10)They create drama
(11)They gaslight you
(12)They may show abusive behavior
If you are in a situation that you need help there are many helplines that can guide you in the right direction, please seek help.
Manipulation is a way of controlling and controlling is a sign of weakness. Therefore, people who have the need to control others, you definitely do not have control of yourself. You cannot control anyone or anything all you can control is yourself..meaning "YOU."